On being thankful... not guilty

German writer Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe once said, "Go to foreign countries and you will get to know the good things one possesses at home." 


Everytime I have travelled outside of the United States I experience this upon returning home. And most times this experience is accompanied by feelings of guilt over all I have in comparison to all that whatever-country-I-just-visited doesn't have. 

Typical mud hut and yard in Chambrun, Haiti

But this past time home was different for some reason. As I drove around town in my nice minivan, stopping by whatever store I felt like and buying pretty much anything I wanted/needed, I didn't feel guilty anymore. As I sat in my 3000 sqft. home decorated with all sorts of conveniences, I didn't have that same feeling of guilt creeping over me. Perhaps my heart has hardened? Definitely not! Perhaps I have grown so accustomed to poverty it no longer affects me the same? No way! If anything, the more I get to really know the faces of poverty, the more it breaks my heart. So what was different? 


On the Saturday we were home in Indiana we were able to attend our home church... Grace Community. As Dave Rod spoke he made a reference to Ecclesiastes. While he was preaching the sermon, my eyes wandered to a passage in Ecclesiastes on the same page and a light bulb went off. 

Ecclesiastes 5:18-19- 

 This is what I have observed to be good: that it is appropriate for a person to eat, to drink and to find satisfaction in their toilsome labor under the sun during the few days of life God has given them—for this is their lot. Moreover, when God gives someone wealth and possessions, and the ability to enjoy them, to accept their lot and be happy in their toil—this is a gift of God.

This was it! I finally understood this in my life. I have been given so many great gifts. Surely I glorify God more to show my thanksgiving and use these gifts to the advantage of the kingdom than to mope around in guilt ridden angst.

Tent city near Croix-des-Bouquets, Haiti

Of course the danger in this verse is apathy. One cannot, no... should not become complacient in their lot in life and in doing so, forsake the things that breaks our Father's heart. I still want to purge the excess in my life every time I return to the States but the motivation is different. Before I wanted to get rid of all the material excess to make myself feel less guilty for what I have. I was giving things away to ease the guilt of my circumstance in life. I wasn't giving out of thankfulness. I wasn't giving because I wanted to share the joy I had with someone else. I was essentially sharing my guilt. Get the difference?

So why the change? I don't think I even fully understand the heart change I have undergone, but I do know that being surrounded by and more fully understanding the multifaceted nature of poverty has contributed to my enlightening. I now realize that poverty is so complex and doesn't merely involve money. Pages could be written (and have been) on the issue of poverty. Needless to say, it is complex! The dictionary I looked in defined poverty as "being inferior in quality and amount". Poverty emcompasses emotions, healthcare, social exclusion, lack of choice, depravation of basic human needs, and so many other things. It isn't simply money or possesions. I think knowing this has freed me to enjoy the things God has placed in my life. Perhaps I will never understand why I was born in the United States with so many options for my life while another is born into abject poverty in rural Haiti, but I sure can be thankful for it.

OK now for some random cute pics of our kids:

Sitota is ready to board the plane!

Sydney sleeps outside the PAP airport waiting for our tap-tap

Syd sleeps inside the tap-tap on the way home to Chambrun